As a lower handicapper playing mostly with higher handicappers how do I handle their comments?… They stand on the tee before me and whine and complain about every hazard they see, hit the ball, and then complain and be very verbal about all the trouble they just hit into.
Good golfers are totally aware of this as we are students of the game. The people that need to hear what you are saying I don’t think are paying to belong to a golfing website which is providing information they need.
Hi,
Not allowing others to bother you isA CHOICE!!!
Here is a tool you can use.
Next time when you feel annoyed ask yourself:”Am i willing to give away my precious energy to these people?”
My guess is ur answer will be NO!
try it!
While many in the “biz” might try to help you “deal” with your stated “problem. I offer this:
Stop trying to “deal” with it.
If you play with an expectation that those other golfers SHOULD NOT make comments you are setting yourself up for disappointment because the reality is THEY DO–and when they do you are “forced” to deal with it.
In essence, your are fighting with reality and that is a losing battle only all the time:)
First, see that this is your own “rule” about others and it really has nothing to do with them. They are simply doing what they always do. Change your rule–and all the things that “put you off” can go away.
Re: members
There are many levels of golf represented in this membership and Paul and I and the others strive to meet the needs of all of you!
David You talked about final step behind ball,be committed to the shot and walk in to setup focus on target and swing. Is it alright to think about triggers for the swing while you are focusing on the target ,eg like swings starts with a movement of my left shoulder when i settle into my setup.
Personally, I’m a big fan of creating a clear mind. That’s because a clear mind produces more clear/better results. Having said that, I like the idea of focusing on your target without any mental distractions. This creates a very clear message giving you a better opportunity for that better result.
THEN…after this, your swing thoughts can be engaged.
Some golfers are comfortable doing both together so it is important to discover what works/feels best to you.
What feels best to you is always best.
Try it both ways and it will be clear to you what feels better.
I think other comments affect us as we are human beings. I know we all have our own “game” that we play and for many if not most of the typical golf culture the game is whining…I expect it, I have no rules for others only principles which I believe for myself. I expect I will have whining, yes I do wish to know how to deal with it.
Their comments do effect me as I am human, and I would like to know how to reset myself and ignore/let go of the comments.
Lastly, there is a better golfer I play with who will purposely make comments about the hazards on the hole after teeing off. Head games have always been apart of the game…I am asking your ideas for keeping my focus.
Ok…I will answer your question as you prefer with this caveat:
What I offered you earlier was a root cause answer that would remove the need for more coping skills and therefore make your focus better immediately, which is really what you want, right?
You may expect others to “whine” yet there is still a part of you that doesn’t like/accept it and therefore causes you to react negatively. That;s WHY it affects you.Can you see that?
This is the subtle “rule” i spoke of and it’s the surest way of getting what you want more quickly and consistently.
Any of that make sense to you?
My goal with all golfers (including you) is to move you beyond the coping mindset. If 85% of the golfers I talk to are frustrated by the many coping mechanisms they hear—there’s got to be a reason! And, there is.
As with all coping mechanisms–they will “work” sometimes and not others–such is the nature of coping mechanisms which is why I don’t teach them to my clients:).
However….
If you’re more interested in coping there are plenty of coping mechanisms “out there” in mental golf land.
Here are 3 you can experiment with:
1. When others “whine” silently say to yourself, “this has nothing to do with me. It’s their problem not mine”
2. Ask yourself: “Do i really want to let this golfer get to me?”
3. Turn you eyes on to something stable (i.e. fairway, tree, etc.) and bring your attention to it.
Hi David,
Now on a par 3, what if I say don’t get a hole in one. Do you think there is a chance? Sorry just kidding but I had to say it. Anyway great tip and I really like the pre-shot routine.
Thanks Mike
Yes, that all makes sense..Thanks for the explaination..
Yes I can see that I don’t like/accept their whining which makes me crazy. My swing and head coach guru have just told me “ignore the hazards” “look to where you want to hit” “the word don’t is dangerous” Isn’t this where my “rules” come from? Expert knowledge which I agree with and integrate?
So given that the majority of golfers I play with will be acting just the opposite of how you are instructing me to act, how can I come to accept/like their actions?
I do use the coping mechanisms which you mentioned and they help me re focus, but I would love to solve the root of the problem.
Thanks for the alternative rules….I’ll give them a try. Thanks for the conversation. You are right email is not always the best way but you did a fine job helping me to move forward with this issue.
Give it a real shot–it’s a choice to do so–an understanding that a rule causes all the effects so rather than focus on the problem–focus on the rule causing it.
GENTLEMEN, NICE TO SEE YOU BOTH ON THE SAME SCREEN. I AGREE 100% ON THE ISSUE POSTED HERE.
ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT THIS APPROACH DEALING WITH CHILDREN IS VERY POSITIVE. NEGATIVITY
IS QUITE NEGATIVE….. INSTEAD OF “DO NOT” LET US SAY DO LIKE THIS !!! PAUL WORKS HARD AT BEING POSITIVE
WITH GREAT BACKING FROM DAVID; CONGRATS GUYS, KEEP THE BALL ROLLING TRUE. !!!!!
To all those who are interested in THE mind aspect OF the noble game ,I would strongly recommend read THE books written by
PIA NILSSON and LYNN MARIOTT ,THE most interesting being “EVERY SHOT MUST HAVE A PURPOSE ”
She develops THE “THINK BOX/PLAY BOX”concept which settles once and for all what you should do when teeing off.
In all human ventures ,you have this “Outside noise “and “Inside noise (In your head )” distractions :you learn to discipline yourself as to discard them completely .
When I Play with my Wife ,she constantly whines about what’s going wrong ahead or in our own group .
I don’t pay any attention to what she says .
We do Play doubles in comp
David,
When I have water in front of me I see it(i don’t worry about it)I calculate(w/my range finder)the carry distance, and the distance to the pin along with wind direction.this is done behind the ball.If left will hurt me I think start lower body 1st and finish left(eliminates over the top move)if right will hurt me I think swing easy.
It seems when you do the dual video with Paul you get many more questions
Hi David, hi Paul, you guys are just amazing! What a great tip! I’m already excited to see the next! Keep going like that! As I followed Paul’s instruction videos from the beginning, I’ve got to know David’s Wired-To-Win program, that made it complete.
So great to see you on that together!
Reiner
I believe this tip is spot on and have experienced it myself in the following manner. When I play a course I’ve never been to before and am playing with someone familiar with the course I’ll ask them for their input on the best line off the tee. Lets assume they tell me to hit my shot right center of fairway in line with the big oak tree in the distance. Lo and behold I hit my shot on the recommended line nearly every time!! My playing partner has taken all the doubt out of my mind and I step up and just execute that line without thinking of anything else. It totally works.
Keep up the good work, I enjoy the tips,
All the best,
Tom
GREETINGS GENTLEMEN great tip .while waiting my turn to play can I put in my mind what I want the outcome to be or is it necessary to do it behind the ball? Once I get behind the ball to get my target and then address the ball, the only thought then is to make the stroke.
At my club the 1st hole has water in front, water to the right and a ditch with water at 150 yards and OOB on the let. It’s a little bit daunting as you stand there. I have learnt to lay up with an 8 iron and rarely get it wrong, but i know I’m still thinking about it. This week in England the winds were up and in our face, so pleased to just get it on the fairway. Your methods are working for me, its a brilliant site thank you.
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27 Responses to “David and Paul Discuss Hazards and the Setup Routine”
August 29, 2012
ElizabethWallaceAs a lower handicapper playing mostly with higher handicappers how do I handle their comments?… They stand on the tee before me and whine and complain about every hazard they see, hit the ball, and then complain and be very verbal about all the trouble they just hit into.
Good golfers are totally aware of this as we are students of the game. The people that need to hear what you are saying I don’t think are paying to belong to a golfing website which is providing information they need.
January 24, 2014
David BreslowHi,
Not allowing others to bother you isA CHOICE!!!
Here is a tool you can use.
Next time when you feel annoyed ask yourself:”Am i willing to give away my precious energy to these people?”
My guess is ur answer will be NO!
try it!
August 30, 2012
David BreslowHi Elizabeth!
Thank you for your comment.
Why do you allow others comments to affect you?
While many in the “biz” might try to help you “deal” with your stated “problem. I offer this:
Stop trying to “deal” with it.
If you play with an expectation that those other golfers SHOULD NOT make comments you are setting yourself up for disappointment because the reality is THEY DO–and when they do you are “forced” to deal with it.
In essence, your are fighting with reality and that is a losing battle only all the time:)
First, see that this is your own “rule” about others and it really has nothing to do with them. They are simply doing what they always do. Change your rule–and all the things that “put you off” can go away.
Re: members
There are many levels of golf represented in this membership and Paul and I and the others strive to meet the needs of all of you!
Good luck!
David
August 30, 2012
barrybowerDavid You talked about final step behind ball,be committed to the shot and walk in to setup focus on target and swing. Is it alright to think about triggers for the swing while you are focusing on the target ,eg like swings starts with a movement of my left shoulder when i settle into my setup.
August 30, 2012
David BreslowHi Barry,
Thank you for you great question.
I’ll give you my answer:
Personally, I’m a big fan of creating a clear mind. That’s because a clear mind produces more clear/better results. Having said that, I like the idea of focusing on your target without any mental distractions. This creates a very clear message giving you a better opportunity for that better result.
THEN…after this, your swing thoughts can be engaged.
Some golfers are comfortable doing both together so it is important to discover what works/feels best to you.
What feels best to you is always best.
Try it both ways and it will be clear to you what feels better.
Let us know what happens, ok?
David
August 31, 2012
ElizabethWallaceDavid,
I think other comments affect us as we are human beings. I know we all have our own “game” that we play and for many if not most of the typical golf culture the game is whining…I expect it, I have no rules for others only principles which I believe for myself. I expect I will have whining, yes I do wish to know how to deal with it.
Their comments do effect me as I am human, and I would like to know how to reset myself and ignore/let go of the comments.
Lastly, there is a better golfer I play with who will purposely make comments about the hazards on the hole after teeing off. Head games have always been apart of the game…I am asking your ideas for keeping my focus.
Thanks
Beth
August 31, 2012
David BreslowHI Beth,
Ok…I will answer your question as you prefer with this caveat:
What I offered you earlier was a root cause answer that would remove the need for more coping skills and therefore make your focus better immediately, which is really what you want, right?
You may expect others to “whine” yet there is still a part of you that doesn’t like/accept it and therefore causes you to react negatively. That;s WHY it affects you.Can you see that?
This is the subtle “rule” i spoke of and it’s the surest way of getting what you want more quickly and consistently.
Any of that make sense to you?
My goal with all golfers (including you) is to move you beyond the coping mindset. If 85% of the golfers I talk to are frustrated by the many coping mechanisms they hear—there’s got to be a reason! And, there is.
As with all coping mechanisms–they will “work” sometimes and not others–such is the nature of coping mechanisms which is why I don’t teach them to my clients:).
However….
If you’re more interested in coping there are plenty of coping mechanisms “out there” in mental golf land.
Here are 3 you can experiment with:
1. When others “whine” silently say to yourself, “this has nothing to do with me. It’s their problem not mine”
2. Ask yourself: “Do i really want to let this golfer get to me?”
3. Turn you eyes on to something stable (i.e. fairway, tree, etc.) and bring your attention to it.
See what happens!!!!
To your best golf!
David
August 31, 2012
mikeplummerHi David,
Now on a par 3, what if I say don’t get a hole in one. Do you think there is a chance? Sorry just kidding but I had to say it. Anyway great tip and I really like the pre-shot routine.
Thanks Mike
August 31, 2012
David BreslowHey Mike!
Ha!
Great to hear from you.
Hope all is well,
David
August 31, 2012
ElizabethWallaceDavid.
Yes, that all makes sense..Thanks for the explaination..
Yes I can see that I don’t like/accept their whining which makes me crazy. My swing and head coach guru have just told me “ignore the hazards” “look to where you want to hit” “the word don’t is dangerous” Isn’t this where my “rules” come from? Expert knowledge which I agree with and integrate?
So given that the majority of golfers I play with will be acting just the opposite of how you are instructing me to act, how can I come to accept/like their actions?
I do use the coping mechanisms which you mentioned and they help me re focus, but I would love to solve the root of the problem.
Thanks,
Beth
August 31, 2012
David BreslowHi Beth,
You wrote:
“My swing and head coach guru have just told me
September 1, 2012
ElizabethWallaceDavid,
Thanks for the alternative rules….I’ll give them a try. Thanks for the conversation. You are right email is not always the best way but you did a fine job helping me to move forward with this issue.
Beth
September 1, 2012
David BreslowHi Beth,
My pleasure!
Give it a real shot–it’s a choice to do so–an understanding that a rule causes all the effects so rather than focus on the problem–focus on the rule causing it.
Let us know!
David
http://www.mentalgolfcoaching.com
January 21, 2014
KENNETHPEREZGENTLEMEN, NICE TO SEE YOU BOTH ON THE SAME SCREEN. I AGREE 100% ON THE ISSUE POSTED HERE.
ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT THIS APPROACH DEALING WITH CHILDREN IS VERY POSITIVE. NEGATIVITY
IS QUITE NEGATIVE….. INSTEAD OF “DO NOT” LET US SAY DO LIKE THIS !!! PAUL WORKS HARD AT BEING POSITIVE
WITH GREAT BACKING FROM DAVID; CONGRATS GUYS, KEEP THE BALL ROLLING TRUE. !!!!!
January 23, 2014
Paul WilsonKenneth,
Glad you like the tip and the approach. Thanks.
January 27, 2014
David BreslowLook forward to more Ken!
January 21, 2014
RaymondCHASTELTo all those who are interested in THE mind aspect OF the noble game ,I would strongly recommend read THE books written by
PIA NILSSON and LYNN MARIOTT ,THE most interesting being “EVERY SHOT MUST HAVE A PURPOSE ”
She develops THE “THINK BOX/PLAY BOX”concept which settles once and for all what you should do when teeing off.
In all human ventures ,you have this “Outside noise “and “Inside noise (In your head )” distractions :you learn to discipline yourself as to discard them completely .
When I Play with my Wife ,she constantly whines about what’s going wrong ahead or in our own group .
I don’t pay any attention to what she says .
We do Play doubles in comp
January 21, 2014
TIMADAMSDavid,
When I have water in front of me I see it(i don’t worry about it)I calculate(w/my range finder)the carry distance, and the distance to the pin along with wind direction.this is done behind the ball.If left will hurt me I think start lower body 1st and finish left(eliminates over the top move)if right will hurt me I think swing easy.
It seems when you do the dual video with Paul you get many more questions
January 23, 2014
Paul WilsonTim,
We will do more of these when the weather changes here. I liked doing these. They were a lot of fun.
January 27, 2014
David BreslowHi Tim,
True! Good catch and Paul and I will do more of them!
January 21, 2014
ERIABBERATHANKS GUYS.
January 23, 2014
Paul WilsonErib,
You’re welcome.
January 24, 2014
ReinerMackHi David, hi Paul, you guys are just amazing! What a great tip! I’m already excited to see the next! Keep going like that! As I followed Paul’s instruction videos from the beginning, I’ve got to know David’s Wired-To-Win program, that made it complete.
So great to see you on that together!
Reiner
January 27, 2014
David BreslowHi Reiner!
Thank you for your kind words! I know you are a Wired to Win user and your game has seen a change (for the better)!
Look forward to more of myself and Paul on video!
To Your Best Golf!
January 26, 2016
ThomasCrankI believe this tip is spot on and have experienced it myself in the following manner. When I play a course I’ve never been to before and am playing with someone familiar with the course I’ll ask them for their input on the best line off the tee. Lets assume they tell me to hit my shot right center of fairway in line with the big oak tree in the distance. Lo and behold I hit my shot on the recommended line nearly every time!! My playing partner has taken all the doubt out of my mind and I step up and just execute that line without thinking of anything else. It totally works.
Keep up the good work, I enjoy the tips,
All the best,
Tom
January 26, 2016
johnhoyleGREETINGS GENTLEMEN great tip .while waiting my turn to play can I put in my mind what I want the outcome to be or is it necessary to do it behind the ball? Once I get behind the ball to get my target and then address the ball, the only thought then is to make the stroke.
May 25, 2021
ims702Hi David, Hi Paul,
At my club the 1st hole has water in front, water to the right and a ditch with water at 150 yards and OOB on the let. It’s a little bit daunting as you stand there. I have learnt to lay up with an 8 iron and rarely get it wrong, but i know I’m still thinking about it. This week in England the winds were up and in our face, so pleased to just get it on the fairway. Your methods are working for me, its a brilliant site thank you.
Ian Stewart